This page last updated
11.02.2023
I am Yuki-the-Dog, this is my page. Apparently, on the Internet, no-one knows whether you're a dog or not, but I shall be honest about it. I'm a dog.
This will be an account of the life of a dog of Little Brain. I live in the country with Oana Alexandra, who looks after me, and I.M., a strange Englishman who takes the micky out of me but doesn't contribute to my wellfare. We live in a small house with a big garden on the edge of the Forest, where we go for walks. I'm not allowed to go alone, because the Forest is full of wild boars (none of whom, as far as I know, is called Eric) and other creatures. Oana Alexandra says it's a BAD THING to chase these creatures, although I don't know what else they're for.
There is a photo gallery with examples of my exploits, which can be seen here .
At the moment, I have a pink nose (it should be black) for reasons neither I nor Oana Alexandra understand. We went to the vet and got some pills, but my nose is still as pink as before. The vet said to come back in four weeks, but Oana Alexandra explained that four weeks are actually more than that, because they include a thing called Australian Open, which has to be watched every day on the TV, in case it escapes.
Tomorrow is Tuesday. That's the day for school. I shall meet some dog-friends, and we'll all have a chance to bark at Pompon the donkey, who lives beside the school field. School consists of taking turns to jump over things and lie down when told by Yannick the dog-instructor. If I do this, I'm pronounced a GOOD THING. If you want to know more about school, Oana Alexandra says click here .
A picture of me being a GOOD THING, having jumped on to one of the things I'm supposed to jump on to, is attached. Oana Alexandra is standing beside me, looking pleased, as if she were the one that jumped.
When we're at school, Oana Alexandra tells me what to do in German (because I'm a Swiss sheep dog), and all the other people tell all the other dogs what to do in French. It doesn't really matter. I talk to my friends in Dogspeak anyway.
We couldn't go to school today after all. Yannick rang and said that our field was a quagmire. I don't see the problem. I like running around in the mud and getting completely black, but Oana Alexandra seems to think it's a BAD THING to go. So we didn't go.
When I said I meet all my friends at school, it's not quite true. My very best friend is Lucy, and she lives far far away on the edge of another forest - a black one. When we go to see her, I have to sit all day in Oana Alexandra's car (which I don't mind, provided there's the occasional paws so I can stretch mine). When we arrive, everyone speaks German, and I have to remember that, outside Lucy's garden, everything dogs want to do is VERBOTEN.
Here's a picture of me and Lucy.
At the moment, it's very cold in the mornings when we go for a walk in the Forest. Frost everywhere and temperatures (whatever they may be) which Oana Alexandra says are below zero (whatever that is). I think zero may be what's in my bowl after I've eaten my lunch, but I'm not sure. If it is, it's not bad, because it means it's time to get some of Oana Alexandra's lunch. I.M. just glowers at me and doesn't give me anything, but you get used to that.
Yesterday we went to the vet. I had to have a vaccination (something to do with cows, I think) and we asked about my pink nose. The vet said "bad luck, who nose what causes it? probably inherited".
Today it was the day for school again. I met all my French friends. There was lots of mud to run around in. When we got home, Oana Alexandra had to wash me. She was very cross because IM didn't run around to help her, but in the end, she said I was a CLEAN DOG and could be allowed in the house. IM wasn't, because he didn't want to help.
Today we went to town. Oana Alexandra wanted to do some shopping, and she said that IM had to go to the hairdresser (or she would not be seen dead with him). So off we went. First, up the mountain and down the other side in Oana Alexandra's car. I like the ride, apart from the curves going up the mountain, which make me a bit sea-sick. On the way, Oana Alexandra entertained me with Romanian descriptions of other people's driving techniques (Cretin!, Idiot! etc.). There was also something to do with other drivers' mothers that I didn't quite understand. IM pretended he didn't either.
I like the town. It's by the sea, so there's a quayside with lots of bollards for tying up boats and for peeing on. I can also lick the knees of passing humans, if Oana Alexandra doesn't notice, and be generally obstreperous and growl at all the other dogs, but Oana Alexandra wouldn't let me bite them. We went to lots of shops and to the hairdressers, where I sat down in the middle of a great whiteness and performed my act of White Dog Looking Elegant. I was a great success and was rewarded with a bowl of water.
On the way home, IM (now shorn) and Oana Alexandra went to the supermarket. They left me to guard the car, which I did by Looking Fierce While Asleep. Then we went home and on the way Oana Alexandra explained some more about the other drivers' mothers. But I still didn't understand.
Today it was raining, so it was IM's turn to go for a walk with me. This is because he has things to keep the rain off, while Oana Alexandra says rain should Do As It's Told and Go Away, and if it doesn't, she doesn't want to meet it. I don't like the rain either, but I folded down my ears and tail, flattened my fur, and followed IM. You can't smell much in the rain, so there's not much point in going out. I don't know why we had to go at all, but Oana Alexandra thinks IM knows a red-haired Female Human somewhere in the Forest. He doesn't - I was there all the time, and all we found in the forest was mud.
It was the day for school today. Everything was covered in snow, so hardly anydog came. Only my friend Nanuk, who lives with Yannik the Dogtrainer, and I were there. We match the snow quite well. Here's a picture of us.
I haven't written anything for ages. Too lazy, or too busy chasing lizards, I suppose. Anyway, it's now the end of another summer, and my tale goes on, although IM mutters that it would be much more useful if it came off, so he could put it in the washing machine.
I have a new neighbour - he's about my size, equally white, but Oana Alexandra says not as beautiful. Since he barks a cheerful Hello at all hours, I have to do the same. This annoys Oana Alexandra, specially when she's watching a tennis match or Who wants to be a millionaire or doing something else requiring a similar level of concentration. This is often the case.
Today is Friday. This happens about once a week. Friday is important, because that's the day Mireille-the-cleaning-lady comes. When she comes, I jump on her and try to knock her over. Then she cleans the house, because Oana Alexandra tells her to. After she's gone, I see how long it takes me to make it dirty again.
Today it was raining. When it rains - particularly on a Friday - Oana Alexandra organises a division of labour (IM says J. Corbyn usually does this). Mireille-the-cleaning-lady cleans the house, IM and I go for a walk in the forest, and Oana Alexandra practices sitting-and-not-looking- embarrassed-while-the-working-classes-work. When we got back from the forest, I was very dirty, so it was easy to make the house dirty again.
Note added by IM
Yuki-the-dog will make no more entries, because Yuki-the-dog is dead. Having cheerfully lived out his allotted span, he left us for oblivion / happy hunting ground in the sky (depending on the reader's taste). Anyway, he died with as little problem as he had lived. We shall miss him.
